| omg scary |
[03 Apr 2007|07:24pm] |
in less than a year. i will be a mother.
wow.
|
|
| hmm |
[11 Jan 2007|04:47pm] |
im at the library. my phone got turned off as well as my internet
damn you north carolina
|
|
| eww |
[11 Jan 2007|12:58am] |
i hate this thing. the only reason i havnt deleted it is to keep updated with thee aimee and april
i have no desire to spread my daily life on the internet anymore
hmm time is going by very fast.
|
|
|
[12 Nov 2006|11:39am] |
|
o wow. livejournal is the new pink guys. duh.. get with it
|
|
|
[11 Nov 2006|02:15am] |
i dont have a clue what day it is lol.
im really happy i found what i was looking for.
thats the best part of it all.
|
|
|
[11 Oct 2006|06:06am] |
|
yay im moving to orlando this weekend
|
|
|
[14 Sep 2006|11:35pm] |
yay i just finished lost season two.
hmm anywho
manny and i found the pretties house, im happy.
i got a job at mcdonalds lol... ewww o well theyre gunna pay me 8 bucks an hour which is really good up here.
and as soon as i finish up the ged stuff, which will be like in less then a month. ill recertify my cda, so that i can work in daycares again.
minimum wage here is like 5.40 but everything is alot cheaper then florida..
ciggerettes are like 2.00 a pack and the house we found is 2bed2bath 2 stories, in front of lake chatuge,fully furnished, a basement and utilidies included for $625 a month.
|
|
|
[05 Sep 2006|02:23am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 content |
] |
at first i with all honesty felt bad, but then i realised i had no reason to be
i came to the conclusion your a hypocrytical,crazy,intrusive,cunt.
(the apple doesnt fall far from the tree)
and i found a better person because of our friendship anyway
********************************************************************************
IN OTHER NEWS.
i saw kelley yesterday and ended up drinking some shots of rum and 5 of us went through 6 bottles of white wine in about 3 hours
being wasted and going 4wheeling was the shit. i saw wildlife hmm lol.
we were prettttttttttttty wasted. things ended up getting quite intresting
anywho we left around 3 and came home and i made him drunken mac & cheeese
Manny and i had our first serious fight last nite. we both ended up balling our eyes out and manny packed his shit and was gunna leave. the fight was really nessasary tho. we have both had alot of bottled up things that needed to be said. he let me know that certain things i say get to him, and i put it all out on the table. i told him how ive felt like a stranger the past month and why i "accidently fall asleep" on the couch sometimes. manny is very loving but doesnt really express it like most people do... I feel like an idiot tho because he filled me in on how much he loves and wouldnt know what he was gunna do cause he feels like im gunna leave him, and conitued to pack while crying..and i told him that ive felt the same way...
manny and i have been in so many fucked up situations since weve been together...but they all have worked out for the best, even though theyve caused us both alot of stress... manny and i just need to learn to communitcate better on a regular basis and not hold it all in untill one of us explodes ( ex. getting so worked up over nothing and assume you dont love eachother)
anywho we got to the bottom of why ive been feeling this way and i apoligized and so did he.
ending up making love and just lying in eachother arms for a couple hours talking. i felt like a princess by the time he sweetly whispered me to sleep. i am so blessed...and wont let anything like stress or lack of communication take down this relationship. weve both come so far .....together.
I love who i am because of what hes taught me.
♥ kalin
i miss aimee and joe c ):
|
|
|
[03 Sep 2006|05:08am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 blah |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
the cat licking his balls |
] |
some give manny an update about passion, cause lately hes not getting it lol
♥ Linny ( that names feels nice) i miss aimoose
|
|
|
[02 Sep 2006|12:11am] |
|
today is one those days that i wish i were where i was raised, were my friends are...
|
|
| lol being nice confuses me |
[27 Aug 2006|08:38pm] |
grrr, i go to grocery stores and get naushes....because ever one waves and smiles at eachother lol
WHY IS EVERYONE NICE HERE..ITS NOT NORMAL TO BE NICE TO STRANGERS...
-my mom accidently ran someone off the road last week, and the people smiled and waved
- manny prepaid for gas 5 dollars and he went like 2 dollars over and he went inside to pay it and they said, its alrite no big deal, in clermont if you go over like a penny theyd call the cops lol
anywho,
today was pretty good...
went to the beach...
im going to gatlinburg in like 2 weeks, im excited..lots of sight seeing and shopping ( :
im getting tan woo hoo
Fuck florida,<3 Kalin
|
|
| hmm |
[24 Aug 2006|03:29pm] |
todays been a pretty good day... manny and i went to bed at like 5 this morning ::yikes::: first time weve done that in awhile... we watched the last 4 episodes of lost season one, and to be blunt... im pissed. ha what an ending man grrrrrrr. way to keep ya hanging.
hmm he should be home from work within the hour and im making him take me to the library...
i miss reading. suggestions anyone??
well nothing else to say i reckon heh
♥ kalin
|
|
|
[21 Aug 2006|01:18am] |
manny and i had our first encounter with a north carolina speed bumb today (hit a possum)
it was very sad \
:(
|
|
|
[18 Aug 2006|05:41am] |
its so beautiful here....
hmm i think we just woke the neighbors...thats always fun.
i think i mite start using livejournal often, again
god im boring, i just read alot of my old posts from like a year ago and i had alot to say about alot more meaningless shit...i dont have time to do that anymore..or maybe i just grew up a little bit...who knows
i think i mite start using livejournal often, again
♥ kalin
uhhh my dad just called my mom and told her i was pregnant... i cant believe he would tell her that.
hmm i dont know if im shocked or angry
|
|
|
[09 May 2006|09:36pm] |
im nervous and happy at the same time
these are my last few days living with my mom
im moving out in 2-3 weeks.
hmmmm
ps. i dont wanna grow. today i realised ive been supporting my self for a very long time. i dont remember the last time my mom actually gave me money...im not complaining, i just envy my friends because despite if they deny it or not, there parents kiss there ass and give them everything they need, plus most of what they want. i dont even get what i need...i buy my own food, and bathroom stuff, and everything else. i dont wanna do this anymore, im happy, im young and in love and here sortly ill be living with the most amazing guy ive ever met...and it wont just be his house, it will be OURS. The only downfall to this is i cant keep running away everytime some one brings up... me being all grown up...cause even if i now will take responsibily for my self (getting an education, paying bills, ect.) I have to think about mannys needs all the time as well...making sure hes content. and making him feel as loved as he makes me feel...to you this may not seem hard but you have to remember im kalin... i know im extreamly mature for my age, due to the fact i grew up in alot of adult situations. instead of playing barbies with the neighbors, but the past year ive felt very stressed because i want turn back time and enjoy my childhood the same way most people my age around me did, when coloring out side the lines was your only mistake... in all reality, i know im going to be okay...i know i have to just take everything one day at a time... ill be an example of breaking a barrier. being responsible but a child at heart forever.
hello new life
♥kalin
|
|
|
[22 Mar 2006|02:48am] |
hello there livejournal
i have neglected this thing for months
i worked at dennys for a month. they fucked me out of money. i need to find a new job
anyways 2006 has been incredible..
john and i have been broken up for 9 months, and i never thought id say this but...im not "in love" with him anymore
i didnt think id be able to love again
buttttt.... over summer i became friends with this guy manny...were just freinds up untill recently and now weve been together for almost 2 months and im completly head over heels...im scared to get hurt but im taking my own advice and taking a leap of faith..i dont think im going to fall because ive never met anyone who loves me like he does.
|
|
| this is gunna be long |
[13 Jan 2006|01:01am] |
wow its finally 2006. i went through some incredibly hard times but i survived.
im laying it all on the line....2005 summarized <3
january- mid april 05- nothing to exciting.
i had a pretty good relationship with john.
i met an amazing girl named kay. shes is the most vibrant person to ever come into my life and without her i wouldnt have made it through this year, have so many great memories,or have met some really awaesome people (including her sister april who i am now good freinds with as well)
aimee and i hadnt hung out since october of 04. but in april of 05 we started hanging out again. i went 5 months with out the love of my life, my back bone, the person that keeps me together, my best friend. we came inseperatable agian and still are to this day THANK GOD.
may- july 05. things got tougher.
john and i slowly started fading. june 4th we shared an amazing 2 year anniversary filled with lots of love...but obviously that wasnt enough. 16 days later, on june 20th we broke up. i was emotionally torn. i spent 2 months crying myself to sleep, i had lost the one person i had loved more than anything for good. alot of things went down that summer. i had some good times but for the most part the only thing that really sticks out in my head is how heart broken and dead inside i was.
things eventually got better...i made some new friends and became closer with the old...thanks to them i picked up the pieces and started to rebuild my life again.
august - september 05. nothing real exciting here either
i started my sophmore year at east ridge. i dreaded going to school...i hated seeing john and the fact i was still reffered to as jonathan riffles girlfriend and eventually jonathan riffles ex. i hardly ever attended school. i started working at the peir house. i was an amazing dishwasher lol. i made a new friend in person finally ( sara aka pixi ) to be honest theres no words to describe her. other than colorful. shes so bright and such a sweety.
oct 05.
I met a guy named rayne..who i almost ended up dating but due to the fact he was so much like my ex. i decided against it. the peir house closed down. so i was and still am jobless. i continued hanging out with aimee, kay, and april often. i met a great guy named john....yes another john lol..johnny quest the myspace whore to be percise lol. hes one of the nicest people ive ever met.he definitly showed me that it was possible to like someone other than my ex. aimee and i went to HHN with him. johnny quest and i hung out a couple times after that... hes truely a sweetheart and has a way with the ladys. i quickly learned everyone adores him. im glad that after he got to know me we still remained friends.
Nov.- dec 05.
this is when everything went down hill. i started hanging out with cassie alot more often ( a girl i had met the year before in math but never hung out with because she had moved to new york)
on nov 5th ( cassies birthday) i got introduced to a party scene that became quickly addictive. i spent the next 2 months lying to my mother and friends about where i was, partying every weekend, and becoming a tad bit easy. i then experienced the toughest thing ive ever gone through.... i had come face to face with a battle between me and cocaine. my mother gave me 200 dollars for christmas and i spent it mainly on coke...i stole my brother pain killers and sold them to get money for coke and eventually i started stealing cash. i knew i had a problem but i didnt think i was addicted. i had said to myself and my friends atleast 20 times " this is going to be the last time". when i knew that i was lying to everyone around me including myself. 2 days after christmas i had a life altering experience. my brothers girlfriend let me use her car. i had an accident and wrecked the tires and rims. im lucky that im alive and the girl in the passenger seat ( who i now hate and would rather die than have anything to do with her) as well . i came home with the wrecked car in shock. my mother freaked and so did i. i ended up slitting my wrists. jonathan riffle came over that nite and comforted me making me realize that my love for him hasnt died. the next morning the girl from the nite before and i got into a physical fight and she told my mother about my wrists as well as a bunch of lies. my mother called the police and i spent 3 days in life streams behavioral hospital under suicide watch. while i was there they drug tested me and discovered 3 grams of cocaine in my system when the leathal dose is 1.2...another reason im lucky to be alive. those were the worst 3 days of my life. but caused me to make a major decision. drugs will no longer be apart of my life.... my mother picked me up on dec 30th from lifestreams and i spent new years with family in north carolina.
its now jan 13th 2006.and im drug free and i plan on it being this way from now on without hesitation. i dont miss it and if i ever do ill look back and think about how much pain i caused myself and everyone around me
id like to apoligize to everyone i hurt on my path through 2005. one day i hope youll learn to love me as i am and forgive me for my flaws.
i had an extreamly tough year but im thankful for everybit of it. i regret many things but i will cherish them as learning experiences. and move on.
<3 kalin
|
|
| if you love something let it free if it comes back its meant to be |
[02 Oct 2005|09:32pm] |
|
last nite i finally came to an understanding with myself and my heart. love doesnt have to be an agreement...it shouldnt be. if i want to love you i will..but i can no longer hold on to the hope i once had. it has been an amazing experience that i swear to you, but sitting on the side lines is just not enough. as of now i no longer have a smile on face because you put it there. i have a smile on my face because i know what it was like to have that. ive spent way to much time in the past couple months crying because of whats not there anymore when i should have been happy because it was there for 2 whole years to begin with...and even if it seems like i need more at times. im going to walk away with a peice of you in my heart reminding myself that it doesnt matter if i need more... i have to take what i have and be greatful. i let you control me.i let you be the better person. I gave you all that i could and now im tired and i cant try any longer. i let you be my everything, the love of my life, my soul and what completes me. you were all of that plus more... you wernt perfect and either was i..but nothing is. My plans now im unsure of. im going to close my eyes and jump and if i dont land back in your arms ever again...im okay with that...because no one will ever be able to take the memories away.
|
|
|
[02 Oct 2005|05:17pm] |
omg sara hasnt updated in three days... are you still alive?
<3 kalin
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
my_xkonstantine's journal